


Of Knaves and Virgins

by Thesaurus_with_no_words



Series: Promts galore find second homes. [8]
Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/F, Humor, Intersex Jotunn (Marvel), Jotunn Loki (Marvel), M/M, Mpreg, Shotgun Wedding, all forth to save Loki's honor!, thor is a knave
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-02
Updated: 2018-11-02
Packaged: 2019-08-14 11:37:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16491839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thesaurus_with_no_words/pseuds/Thesaurus_with_no_words
Summary: Thor has just come of age and is going on a tour of all the Nine Realms. It's going to be great! What could possibly go wrong?Well Loki could. Of course.“Nice dress,” Thor compliments, running his eyes over the green silk number clinging to Loki’s curves.“I’m not wearing a dress.” Loki says, eyes sparkling.Thor frowns, “What? Clearly you—”The dress slips off Loki’s slim shoulders and falls to the floor, landing like a green puddle around his long shapely legs.“—aren’t.” Thor finishes, wide eyed, cock already stirring.





	Of Knaves and Virgins

**Author's Note:**

> In which both Thor and Loki are dicks, so they deserve each other.

Thor goes to Jotunheim in the summer of his coming of age. It’s just one of the many stops he plans to make around the Nine Realms.

Odin laughs and calls it Thor “running off his horns”. Frigga gets that little furrow between her brows and makes Thor bring along Sif and Brynhilde. In the history of Asgard, more dubious chaperones have never been named.

Oh Sif tries, but Brunhilde is terribly good at distracting her—they stay mostly in their shared chamber.

As such, no one notices when the youngest and smallest Jotun prince approaches Thor one night after dinner.

King Laufey had grudgingly—very grudgingly—opened his home to the young son of Asgard and his companions. He had been quite clear on wanting no shenanigans under his roof.

Thor licks his lips as the little Jotun prince slips into his chambers and turns big beautiful ruby eyes on Thor. He bats them and smiles coyly. Thor grins back.

“Nice dress,” Thor compliments, running his eyes over the green silk number clinging to Loki’s curves.

“I’m not wearing a dress.” Loki says, eyes sparkling.

Thor frowns, “What? Clearly you—”

The dress slips off Loki’s slim shoulders and falls to the floor, landing like a green puddle around his long shapely legs.

“—aren’t.” Thor finishes, wide eyed, cock already stirring.

Well, what Laufey doesn’t know wont hurt him.

 

 

Thor and his two friends stay in Jotunnheim for quite a bit longer than planned. Sif hisses at him and points out their itinerary while eyeing Loki mistrustfully at the morning table. She suspects, but Loki keeps daintily eating his breakfast, never as much as blinking in their direction.

Thor just waves her off, eyes stuck on Loki as he sucks his fingers clean of butter. There’s no helping it. Loki was so sweet and innocent the first night he came to Thor, but he learns quickly and he’s just so bendy, so tight and so good at swallowing around large meaty objects that Thor completely loses track of time. It’s only when the royal family of Vanaheim sends an inquiry about Thor’s health and whereabouts that they reluctantly leave.

Loki cries on their day of departure and Thor kisses him repeatedly to make it stop, promising a number of sweet nothings. None of which he plans to keep of course, but by the time Loki figures that out Thor will be well back in Asgard. Such is the tragedy of losing your maidenhead to a young knave: To first be bitter about it and then later in your twilight years look back at it with nostalgia.

Thor dries Loki’s tears, kisses him one last time and figures Loki will eventually get over it.

 

 

Their tour through the realms continue; drinking, partying and generally being a headache for whatever royal house they’re visiting. Thor doesn’t get to bed any more princes or princesses, the reputation he made for himself in Asgard quite preceding him in the more integrated realms. He does tumble some lower nobility, but no one that could get him in trouble. With the clarity of hindsight, Thor slowly realizes that his thrust with prince Loki could have ended quite badly for him, had anyone discovered them together. Laufey wasn’t exactly the relaxed type—in fact he seemed set on inventing new and increasingly extreme definitions of the phrase “strict parenting.” He would have wrung Thor’s neck.

Even so Thor can’t help but think fondly of Loki. All that smooth blue skin and the noises he made… If Thor fucks a higher number of brunettes than ever before, and if he longs for both a cock and a cunt at the same time, then Loki is surely to blame.

At the end of his tour, a glorious near ten months of drunken revelry, Thor is almost tempted to revisit Jotunheim. He doesn’t in the end, but even back on Asgard, the first night back in his own bed, Thor closes his eyes and remembers those long blue limbs wrapped around him.

He’ll probably never see the youngest Jotun prince again, but he will remember Loki fondly.

 

 

Thor sees Loki again.

 

 

Laufey arrives at the height of summer, bringing with him an unseasonal snowstorm and a temper to match. He also brings Loki.

Thor spots him in the reception Hall, standing half hidden behind his giant father who is screaming at Odin and Frigga about their irresponsible, irredeemable, honor-less charlatan of a son. Thor knows Laufey is yelling about him, but he hardly hears him. His ears are whooshing. His knees feel suddenly weak. Thor is stuck staring, dumbfounded and wide eyed, at Loki and the little blond baby he is fussing over in his arms.

Loki raises his eyes from the adoring look he is giving his very Aesir colored baby, spots Thor and gives him a cheery little wave and a wink.

Thor’s jaw drops. He couldn’t have—this can’t be—the room is spinning and suddenly Thor is sitting on his ass, legs akimbo on the floor, while Laufey continues his tirade over Odin’s attempted interjections.

“—there was only ONE Asgardian male present at my court this last year, and that was your rake of an offspring! I did not wish to believe it, but when it turned out my little Loki had fallen pregnant outside of marriage I had my suspicions. And lo and behold! The child came out as blond and pale as its witless father!” Laufey yells, pointing an accusing finger at Thor.

“At first my little Loki would say nothing, admit to nothing, so convinced was he that your miscreant spawn would return and honor his promises,” Laufey continues, casting a protective look at his tiny son who is still standing behind him. Loki quickly schools his self-satisfied little smirk into a contrite expression complete with vulnerable teary eyes. The baby uses this opportune moment to whine and grab for its mother’s long dark braid.

Thor gapes.

Loki sniffles and lowers his face to the floor, looking sad and dejected.

Thor gapes more. That little snake!

None of their parents see through the act. Laufey turns his righteous fury up a notch at the sight of his beleaguered child, and Frigga casts a severely disappointed look in Thor’s direction. Odin just rubs his forehead like he has a migraine.

“I think the course is clear,” Odin says, before Laufey can start ranting again, “Since Thor clearly likes your son quite well, he can marry him too.”

“Father!” Thor protests. He is too young to be married and—he casts another wide eyed look at the baby—too young to be a father himself.

Odin just snarls at him in wordless rage, pointing at Thor with a clear message of “shut your mouth boy!”

Thor klicks his teeth together, paling as he starts to see his road to freedom narrowing.

Everything goes very fast after that. He and Loki are wed right there in the reception hall, their hands tied together by Frigga as Odin reads their rites and Laufey does a scary sub vocal growl in the background.

Loki bounces the baby with his free arm and smiles shyly at Thor through the whole thing. The innocent look is not near as convincing now that Thor knows what lies underneath.

When the ceremony is done, their parents leave to try and do political damage control and see if they can spin this in any positive way.

Thor is left behind with Loki and his—and his…

“Uhm. What is it…” Thor starts, looking down at the wiggling little baby as cold sweat slinks down his back.

“Would you like to hold your son?” Loki asks pleasantly, already reaching out and arranging Thor’s arms before he can agree.

Seconds later Thor is holding a baby. HIS baby. It feels light and fragile in his arms, and when Thor looks down he is met with odd colored eyes, “Purple?” Thor asks faintly, still trying to catch up and mostly failing.

“Well blue and red,” Loki says, pointing between them, “It makes sense when you think about it.”

Thor nods, eyes now stuck on Loki, his new  _spouse_. “You planned this,” Thor says with hardly any infliction.

Loki just gives him a fond look, “Only because you made it so terribly easy my dear.”

Thor splutters in swelling rage, but is unable to move thanks to the baby. Loki probably planned that too.

Loki just grins, bends forwards and pecks Thor on the cheek, “Welcome to fatherhood.” He says, eyes glittering with mischief.

What Thor is most angry about at that precise moment, is that he still wants to kiss Loki back.

 


End file.
